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Emissions Joyride is a datapoint in Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds. It is the fifth item in Frozen Wilds Text Datapoints - World.

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To: Shelly Guerrera-McKenzie
From: Laura Vogel
Subject: Emissions joyride 

Okay, girl - you are NEVER going to guess what happened on my way home last night. 

First thing, I heard this sound like a herd of killer bees escaping out of a tin can. Then there was this weird light through the trees. I was totally hoping it was aliens, but nah, it was one of those old blue-spectrum LEDs. Looked super creepy on the snow. 

As it got closer, I heard some yahoo letting out this weird guttural man-shriek, as if he were doing some macho primal scream therapy. Ya know, with 1000 RPMs between his legs. 

Said yahoo was none other than Dod Blevins, our new "Director of Security" or whatever his twenty-dollar title is. He was actually riding an old snowmobile! They're like a thousand times more polluting than a combustion-era car. My expert professional opinion: Blevins is a grade-A douchecanoe. 

I decided not to sic the security bot on his flabby rear. After all, he's practically our boss for the next two weeks. But Shells, you might want to take a bathroom break now, because you're going to lose it when you find out what I did instead. 

I was standing right near one of the trail signs and I could tell Blevins was headed for me, so I reprogrammed the sign to swap directions between Fairy Falls and Purple Mountain. Wicked, right? You'd never get a snowmobile up there. I hope he bailed out hard and had to walk back to the lodge. 

Guess I'll be filing my very first incident report right before this whole thing shuts down forever! I could let it slide like usual, but then where's the fun, Shells? WHERE IS THE FUN? 

L. 

Horizon Zero Dawn Datapoints
Audio Datapoints #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10 - #11 - #12 - #13 - #14 - #15 - #16 - #17 - #18 - #19 - #20 - #21 - #22 - #23 - #24 - #25 - #26 - #27 - #28 - #29 - #30 - #31 - #32 - #33 - #34 - #35 - #36 - #37 - #38 - #39 - #40 - #41 - #42 - #43 - #44 - #45 - #46 - #47 - #48 - #49 - #50 - #51 - #52 - #53 - #54 - #55 - #56 - #57 - #58 - #59 - #60 - #61 - #62 - #63
Hologram Datapoints #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10 - #11 - #12 - #13 - #14 - #15 - #16 - #17 - #18 - #19 - #20 - #21 - #22
Text Datapoints - Quests #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10 - #11 - #12 - #13 - #14 - #15 - #16 - #17 - #18 - #19 - #20 - #21 - #22 - #23 - #24 - #25 - #26 - #27 - #28 - #29 - #30 - #31 - #32 - #33 - #34 - #35 - #36 - #37 - #38 - #39 - #40 - #41 - #42 - #43 - #44 - #45 - #46 - #47 - #48 - #49 - #50 - #51 - #52 - #53
Text Datapoints - World #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10 - #11 - #12 - #13 - #14 - #15 - #16 - #17 - #18 - #19 - #20 - #21 - #22 - #23 - #24 - #25 - #26 - #27 - #28 - #29 - #30 - #31 - #32 - #33 - #34 - #35 - #36 - #37 - #38 - #39 - #40 - #41 - #42 - #43 - #44 - #45 - #46 - #47 - #48 - #49 - #50 - #51 - #52 - #53 - #54 - #55 - #56 - #57 - #58 - #59 - #60 - #61 - #62 - #63 - #64 - #65 - #66 - #67
Text Datapoints - Machines #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10
Scanned Glyphs #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10 - #11 - #12 - #13 - #14 - #15 - #16 - #17 - #18
Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds Datapoints
Audio Datapoints #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10 - #11 - #12 - #13 - #14 - #15 - #16 - #17 - #18 - #19 - #20 - #21 - #22 - #23 - #24 - #25
Text Datapoints - World #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10 - #11 - #12 - #13
Text Datapoints - Quests #01 - #02 - #03 - #04 - #05 - #06 - #07 - #08 - #09 - #10 - #11 - #12 - #13 - #14
Hologram Datapoints #01 - #02 - #03
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